Never Be It

Category: Commentaries


  1. “Never Be It” by Cotton Mather

    Whoa! Slow down son. Robert Harrison ever mapping the no mans land located between the coordinates of optimism and bone-headedness and now waiting in an impossibly enormous naugahyde EZ chair at my PHP’s due to the decision to lift a piece of equipment by myself that typically requires four hands. When crossing the border into Bonehead Land they should stamp your passport and hand out painkillers. Instead I’m counting on Victory Medical to come through. I feel like all the useless time spent in doctors and auto shop waiting rooms should be assessed and given back to you at the end of your life, like the stoppage time in soccer.
    What exactly is “naugahyde” and why does it only inhabit questionable healthcare facilities.? At one such establishment years ago I pondered the question aloud when a fellow patron sporting, Hawaiian shirt, fanny pack and mullet informed me, “the ‘hyde’ comes from formaldehyde and ‘nauga’ is Latin for something I think”… “oh thanks” I replied

    My tennis coach, Bob Johns, was always amused by my style of play. He broke the tennis world down into two kinds of players- sly foxes (Arthur Ashe, Andre Agassi) and hedgehogs (Novak Djokovic, Jimmy Connors) … and I was of the hedgehog species. “You always go for the million dollar shot when the hundred dollar shot will win the day”, I’d hear him say. Today he might be asking, “why not just put out a record”. When equally matched the sly fox always vanquishes the hedgehog. Like rock, paper, scissors with just the rock and paper. No scissors in tennis. And so “rocks in his head” here is filling out paperwork for the nurse practitioner beneath some godawful waiting room artwork words cannot do justice. Yes, where naugahyde chairs lurk bad art sure to follow.

    I’m going to find that girl from church camp who broke my seventeen year old heart and show her this I Ching Songs project. That’ll show her. “See all you passed on? How’s that thick- necked Montgomery boy you preferred looking these days?” She continues to shape-shift and haunt me. Hexagram 5 “Waiting” sounds one of the I Ching’s clarion caveats. “Be patient hedgehog- just because you want it doesn’t make it so”. Alas ..birds. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 reworked by Pete Seeger was one for the “Byrds”.

    No one wants to hear the sky is smaller than it is
    The infinite sky
    Or the rotten calculus beyond that second glass of Chardonnay
    Someone not us raking in the chips
    My father used to stare at me with watery eyes and half smile in the late afternoons
    Dreaming I suppose the oddsmaker had met his match
    Chip off the old block

    “Never Be It” by Cotton Mather
    Recorded by RH and Lars Goransson
    Performed by RH, WW, Darin Murphy, Vince Delgado, and Anthony Farrell
    “LP mix” by George Reiff
    “ALT mix” by Lars Goransson

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